Rules for the Obsessive-Compulsive Sociopath

This is from goobage (but Blogspot won't take you to the right post, scroll down to Mon 13 Sep).

If anything can go wrong, FIX IT! (To Hell with Murphy!)

When given a choice, take both!

Multiple projects lead to multiple successes.

Start at the top and work your way up.

Do it by the Book -- but be the author!

When forced to compromise, ask for more.

If you can't beat them, join them, then beat them.

If it's worth doing, it's got to be done RIGHT NOW.

If you can't win, change the rules.

If you can't change the rules, ignore them.

Perfection is not optional.

When faced without a challenge, make one!

"No" simply means begin again, one level higher.

Don't walk when you can run.

Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary.

When in doubt, THINK!

Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.

The squeaky wheel gets replaced.

The faster you move, the slower time passes, the longer you live.

To these I must add my personal "Rules":

Rule Number 1: "Other people suck." This is not as harsh as it sounds; you might expand it to "Until proven otherwise, other people suck." What this means is that, if you expect people to be nice and happy and give you everything you want without argument, you will be very unsatisfied. However, if you go into things expecting that other people will cause you trouble, you can plan for it. When they prove they are not trouble, it's a good thing -- that way all surprises are good surprises. And remember -- to other people, you suck, so go out of your way to prove you don't.

Rule Number 2: "No good deed goes unpunished." If you do the right thing, that action will have to be its own reward, because I guarantee that others will find a way to use it against you. This is because of Rule Number 1.

Rule Number 3: "It is easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission." Because other people suck, they won't give you permission -- but once you do whatever it is you want, they are very likely to forgive you "as long as you don't do it again." Which you won't -- for a while, anyway.

Rule Number 4: (From Al Bundy.) "It is wrong to Be French." It is fine to be from France, or in France, or have French heritage, but if you "Are French" and Act Frenchy, well, that's wrong. Rule Number 1 applies doubly to those who Are French. (It's funny, laugh. ;-)

Rule Number 5: "The reward for good work is more work." Once you prove you can do good work, other people will continue to pile work on you, either becuase it's easier than doing it themselves or because it's easier than finding someone else to do it. Why is this? See Rule Number 1.

(UPDATE, 2008-01-21: 2 and 3 were reversed; fixed.)

(UPDATE, 2008-09-14: The source for rule 4 has been corrected.)