Paul M. Jones

(With apologies to Ambrose Bierce.)

bloat, bloated

One or more lines of someone else's code that do something I don't need right now. Used as a reason to write my own code.

collaboration

Other people working on my project. "I believe strongly in collaboration; other people should be helping with my projects."

fast

The performance of my favored projects. (When benchmarks show otherwise, this explains why the benchmark is skewed, measures the wrong things, or doesn't matter.)

easy

The work that other people have to do.

good coding style

The code looks and feels just as if I wrote it myself.

hard

The work that I have to do.

practical, pragmatism

Whatever is expedient at the moment, regardless of long-term considerations. "Your use of (good practice X) just isn't practical in this situation." (Note especially the appeal to absolutes instead of tradeoffs between options; as an aside: "What is 'practical' depends on what you want to practice.")

quality

The project overall is designed just as if I did it myself.

reuse

Other people using my code. "I believe strongly in reuse; stop writing your own code and use mine."

slow

The performance of projects other than my favored ones. (When benchmarks show otherwise, this explains why the benchmark is skewed, measures the wrong things, or doesn't matter.)

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