This Job Is Better Than The One You Have Now

I’m not a guy who does hype, so I’m going to lay it out straight: You’ve got a job right now as a PHP guy? Leave it and come work for me at Parchment.

It has better pay than you’re getting now.

It has better hours than you’re working now.

It has better management than the place you’re at now.

It has a better mission than the one you have now.

Where you are now, a lot of stuff is solidified in place, and your attempts to improve it are not valued. Here, you’ve got a chance to get in and do stuff right. Where it’s not right, you’ve got a chance to change it and make it right. (But this is not a chance to evangelize your preferred framework.)

You’ll have me as Architect on the PHP side. For some folks that’s a deal-breaker. For most people who actually have had me as a boss before, that’s a bonus. (I can provide references from previous employees on request. 😉

The boring “help wanted” ad only says so much. Here’s the skinny:

The codebase is a typical PHP codebase. Some of you know what that means. I have already stripped out all the uses of globals. The job is to update it to PHP 5.4, design patterns, and a modern architecture, and add features as we go, while keeping the whole thing running. There are no tests; you will be refactoring to testable units. There is no standard development environment; you might be able to help us create one.

If you live in or near Scottsdale AZ and can be in the office on a daily basis, that gets a preference; otherwise, a telecommute for the right fit is perfectly acceptable. (If you live in Nashville TN we can telecommute together once in a while.)

You need to actually know PHP itself for the simple things. I don’t care if “the framework does that for you” — at the very least, you should know what the framework is actually doing under the hood.

If you blog about PHP, speak at PHP conferences, attend PHP conferences, help others in IRC or on mailing lists with PHP, work on an open-source project where there is at least one other significant contributor, and/or have a Github account where I can see your PHP code, so much the better.

The initial phone interview will consist of a very short programming exercise, not to solve a stupid “gotcha” problem, but to make sure you can actually write a program. (You’d be surprised how many self-proclaimed senior developers can’t write a decent program.) There will be 5-6 technical questions that a mid-to-senior level developer should be able to answer with ease. If you are a Zend Certified Engineer these questions will be no-brainers.

After you pass that we’ll fly you out to to Scottsdale AZ to interview for personality fit. Once you pass that we hire you and you get a better job than you have now.

Send me two copies of your resume: one in plain text in the body of the email so I can read it directly, and attach a Word or PDF copy for my HR guy.

That is all.

UPDATE: Fixed the email address.

Are you stuck with a legacy PHP application? You should buy my book because it gives you a step-by-step guide to improving your codebase, all while keeping it running the whole time.

One thought on “This Job Is Better Than The One You Have Now

  1. the dream job… I promise I’ll practice my English and soon as possible I’ll be ready to this job.

    cheers. (:

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *